Nostalgia

Have you ever stumbled upon an old book of your childhood and read through your old stuff and memories? Well, you know the emotional stages one goes through when one reads their childhood writings old books and notebooks. It’s a roller coaster ride, to say the least.From the Enid Blyton, Nancy Drew , Wuthering Heights, Rebecca, Tale of two cities, pride and prejudice, Huckleberry finn and endless collections of my childhood books! These books inspired stories of my adolescence to the emotionally-charged journals like Misha (from the erstwhile USSR!) of my teen years. If I wasn’t up late at night reading with a flashlight under my covers, I was jotting down my thoughts, feelings and idea in my diary. Whenever I wrote, whatever I wrote, I don’t recollect now, but when I read them now, I became nostalgic .

Whenever I find my old books, I love to diagnose it’s scented old pages which gradually fade in due course of time. Sometimes ot makes me dive in a sea of yesteryears memories.

Yesterday, I told my son don’t act like Kutchu. “Kutchu!! Aaahnn!! Mama ! Who is Kutchu?” My son asked me and suddenly I felt that unknowingly I had uttered Kutchu! He was a character, we had read about, in our class 1 book, “Kutchu and his glasses”. My memories swapped backwards into my childhood school days, reminding me of a character who was present in my English text book in primary school – Kutchu! Kutchu and his family occupied a good portion of my English textbooks. I think his wife’s name was Kamala, but I can’t be sure. I very distinctly remember his son Ramu and his daughter Sita. One of the more popular and humorous lessons was Kutchu’s glasses which I believe, was in the syllabus for Class 1. The story was about Kutchu searching for his glasses, and eventually he “discovers” them on his eyes when he looks in the mirror.My son was happy to listen all my stories and I felt emotional to narrate my childhood pranks and plays, those warm-and-fuzzy feelings start to morph into something else… Confused state of mind.. Reading your old worlds is like meeting a stranger, and you can’t help thinking to yourself, “Was I always so angry/ sad/ dramatic?”

“Yes, Yes you were”, giggled my son. You have started forgetting everything! If you start writing day-day stories about your forgetfulnes, you will beat Kutchu! My husband joined him and room was flooded with their laughter. You had dreams, you had hopes, you had unrealized love. Each day, a new diary entry, each a new confession in the form of a poem, each a new story about the class, the teachers and the fun with gupchup or puchka party, licking up ice cream or bunking classes ,first ride of bicycle or Barbie’s day out and many more such wonderous memories which still beholds.Years passing by, making each moment a memory at every second . Yes, the childhood lingers on. Reminding us of the innocence and the pure joy which we somehow lost in the process of growing up!

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